The apple of control

Posted in Blog Escape from Perfect Isle | 23 comments


This blog is dedicated to the two worlds I have created – one where it is ok to fail (Oopsland) and one where the Perfectionists live (Perfect Isle). My transforming journey is to become a citizen of Oopsland!

Perfect Isle has a lot of control freaks that live there.  Unfortunately I am one of them (although you would never know it by interacting with me.  I seem very happy go lucky until things don’t go my way).

Perfect love will cast out fear.  Eve had perfect love.  But she still wanted control.  The Apple of Control is what I call it.  That bright, red, shiny apple.  #downwiththeapple

The snake held it out to Eve.  By eating that apple, Eve was saying:  “I don’t believe God’s intentions toward me are good, therefore I will control my own life.”  Or at least that is the interpretation that got to my heart.  I struggle with Perfect Love.  It is much easier to control than to rest in Perfect Love.

In my own life…..I am presented with innumerous apples throughout the day.  To remind me not to take the apple of control, I put an apple on my desk or in my kitchen.  A visual reminder.

Unfortunately in the following story, I snatched the Apple of Control right out of the evil one’s grimy little hands and chomped hard into it:

This morning during prayer, God was pointing out to my heart that he needed to move me there.  He saw the whole picture even though I didn’t.  All of my wrestling was for naught, because he had to wait until this moment in time happened.  Now I could leave if I needed or wanted to.

God will give us the apple back.  He allowed Eve to take the apple and he will allow us to hold it, caress it, and oh-aw at how strong we feel with it.

But I don’t want it.  My heart is broken that I have spent the last year fighting something that was his hand but I couldn’t see it.

So my response to his question as he handed the apple back to me……….

Finally resting, for that moment, in his Perfect Love.

23 Comments

  1. I really liked this. I am going to find a small apple at a craft shop and keep it somewhere that I can see it as a reminder that I also don’t want control. Thanks for sharing!

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    • I too have struggled with God on who is in control. Thank you for your words they so encouraged me today!

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      • You bless me too with your words. Thanks.

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    • Yes..exactly. Only you and I will know what it is for. :-)

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    • Thanks for serving Jennifer and and bringing encouragement today!

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  2. I have an apple squeezy that our homeschool organization had made for give-aways. You’ve given it a whole new meaning. Have a great day!

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    • That’s a great idea! I may have to get some of those.

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  3. What an amazing picture! The apple of control . . . wow. Just . . . wow

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  4. Wow Billie…I love this. Thanks for the transparency. I spent some time today journaling about my own journey regarding “control.” You shared some beautiful insights! Vita

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    • Thanks Vita – love how he brings us together and speaks uniquely to each. Blessings!

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  5. so looking for an apple for my desk! everyone will think they know why i have it {i am a teacher}…but only me, my God, and you will know its true meaning! thank you for sharing your insights…love it!!!

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  6. Billie your very well expressed words have made me see things in a different way. It is almost as if you have been in my mind and pulled out these thoughts. I must ‘give up the apple of control’.

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    • Oh Yvonne…that is good for my heart to hear. Glad I could put words around something for you. We’ll give up the apple of control together!

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  7. Billie once more I love your post. The visual of the apple and the question of God being in Control and that I must give up contro of the apple and allow God to work in my life even when I have no clue where it is going. Blessings and thanks for showing me the need to really let go .
    Marilyn V ( OBS Group Leader )

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  8. This is awesome! I love your writing style!

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  9. I too struggle with control issues. But in the end, I find it just causes more grief than good. Sometimes I sit back and wonder what the world would look like if everyone did things my way. Not a pretty pix at all. Your post was a true blessing for me today. Thanks for sharing Billie–absolutely loved the mental images throughout :)

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