Jack-In-The-Box vs True Self

Posted in Blog Escape from Perfect Isle | 4 comments


For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. [Psa 139:13 NIV] I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. [Psa 139:14 NIV]

This week continues my online bible study with Proverbs 31.  One of the blog topics this week was about The Real Me.  Share your God-given talents and personality.

What comes to mind is celebrating the people God made us to be.

One of the Oopsland tag lines is “free to be”.

Once we feel free to be ourselves, to truly become all that we are….that is when we are free.

“Oopsland is where we are free. To try, to live, to be. Just as we were created.  Learning, failing, celebrated.” (from “Beware the Shoulds” located in the main menu above) http://www.oopsland.org/beware-the-shoulds/

So as I read Chapter 8 this week in A Confident Heart by Renee Swope, I am reminded that I am a Sanguine/Choleric.  I have not always allowed myself to be that.   Let’s take a look at the roller coaster ride of not accepting yourself the way you are naturally bent.

  • As a young child I was more than allowed to be free, creative, playful, goofy and relaxed.  If I needed a nap, I just laid down on my favorite spot on the sun porch and slept.
  • As I grew up……”order” entered my life.  Wow.  What a shock that was.  Suddenly I had rules to follow.  “People don’t do that, and they don’t do this, and they certainly would NEVER do such and such.”  Ugh.  So much to remember.
  • So I stuffed my true self into a box, and I fit the mold around me.  Almost like a jack-in-the-box.  Round and round, being turn by Perfect Isle into the perfect child…….the jack-in-the-box music played……..but when would the lid pop open?  There were many external warning signs that the stuffing was starting to pop at any minute.
  • So many aspects of life caused me to get rid of my true self.  School, Leadership positions, Corporate jobs.  Task oriented, decision maker was acceptable because good leaders could make decisions.  But an energetic Sanguine who just wanted to have fun…..well, that did not fit in the corporate, leadership box at all.  And how could I possibly support myself, keep a job and pay the bills by being my true self?!

I won’t go into details in this post, but the jack-in-the-box style eventually popped the lid.  The path was hard and the decline was steep, but I did eventually hit rock bottom.

Now I am allowing myself to acknowledge a few things about myself.

I am:

  • Sanguine/Choleric.
  • D/I on the DISC.
  • ENFP on the Myers-Briggs.
  • The Strengths Finder lists me as having Command and Futuristic as my top strengths.
  • My top spiritual gifts are Leadership, Teaching and Prophecy.
  • I LOVE the outdoors – especially hiking, rollerblading, kayaking, skiing, snow-shoeing
  • My friends tell me I invite them to adventure
  • I do have a unique, creative artistic side that needs to be fed and let loose more often
  • I love acting and being on stage and video as one of my creative expressions

My Oopsland journey is to uncover and discover how all that fits together to make an amazing person.  Sound self-conceited?  No.  The residents of Oopsland know that the more they celebrate themselves, the more they celebrate others and allow others to be the glorious individuals they were also meant to be.  It is a life-giving place.

 

Another book I am just finishing is Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.  This book has also been talking about living in our truest self in order to bring life to the world around us.  When we are fully alive, then we bring life everywhere we go.

Doesn’t that sound great?

I want that.

I want to be the best Billie I can be, in order to bring more life to the refugees coming out of Perfect Isle.

Many of them are coming from a dry, dead place and could use some springs of life.  Like streams in the desert.

Isa 43:19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland

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