Bad hair and spilled coffee

Posted in Blog Escape from Perfect Isle | 18 comments

Bad hair.  My pants are too tight to wear that outfit.  I can’t find my keys.  I don’t have any food.  That thing I need is of course at the bottom of my oversized purse.  And I just spilled coffee on my shirt.  I hate my life.  And it’s not even 8:00am yet.

How in the world am I supposed to bring life to anyone or anything today?

Life and Death. Blessings and Curses.  Choose Life.

I am still doing the Prov 31 “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” online study (#YesToGod), and below is my example of a daily prayer, just like Lysa mentions her prayer in the book. My daily prayer is also my life verse.  It is what I use and choose to guide my interactions with others to the best of my abilities. 

Deuteronomy 30:19  New International Version (NIV)

19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life…..

My Daily Prayer:

Lord, today my words will bring life

My presence will intentionally be life-giving and not poison-emitting

I let others (and myself) off the hook of my missed expectations

In learning to value myself, I end up bringing life to others

I choose to surrender and be at peace with my authentic self

Today you set before me life and death, blessings and curses. 

Help me to choose life.

So how do I intentionally NOT choose curses or death?  This is the question that sent me on a trip to Oopsland. 

My internal dialogue is shocking as it is written down.  Seriously.  You should try it.  The next time you miss a turn on a street, forget an appointment, don’t get your hair just right, or can’t wear that pair of pants because they are now too tight…….write down, on paper, what you are saying to yourself in your mind.  It is shocking. 

Would you ever say that to another person? 

I’m guessing not, but if you answered yes, we may have other things to work on first…….

My path to choosing life started with myself.  How could my words and dialogue bring life to Billie? 

Wow.  Crazy talk. 

I started asking myself, in every one of those situations above where I was incredibly down on myself……..

”How would the people of Oopsland handle this? In Oopsland it is ok to make mistakes, it is ok to not be perfect all the time.”

I was living in Perfect Isle based upon the negative dialogue going on in my mind.  Clearly, I had failed to research my directions ahead of time like an intelligent person.  Clearly I was too stupid to remember an appointment or keep my life organized like all those other successful women.  The fact that my hair looks awful is just indicative of the fact that I am a mess overall.  And of course I can’t wear those pants anymore.  I am a complete failure at controlling any of my food or exercise.  Clearly. 

So how would an Oopslander handle this situation?

They would find an alternative perspective. 

Ask myself, “Did the world end because I turned onto the wrong street?” 

“Yes, I forgot an appointment, but now my doctor had a few minutes to take a break and I’ll just make another appointment. “

“My hair has a mind of its own….clearly not my fault. “

“And the pants….well….at least I have clearly learned what I cannot eat in order to maintain my weight.  I will make a good choice at the next meal.” 

Etc, etc, etc, etc, a thousand times a day until changing my internal tongue becomes second nature. 

Start by bringing life to yourself, in order to bring authentic life to others.  I promise the life within you will multiply so much that it can’t help but spill over into every situation you are in.


  1. Oopsland is clearly much less stressful than Perfect Isle. I’m working through my need to be perfect too. Got rid of the oversized bag that only brought frustration to find things in, don’t care what fashion dictates, lol However, spilled coffee on a favorite shirt still saddens me greatly!

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  2. Agree Christine! Oopsland lowers my stress greatly but I definitely still grieve the loss of favorite things :) And your purse comment made me laugh. I had given it up….then I just went back recently and I am frustrated almost everyday. Need to switch purses again!!

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  3. Humor is always most welcome! Thanks for a delightful way to help me talk nice to me! I spilled coffee on my shirt yesterday . I messed up on dates for travel and now have tog get ready to leave this afternoon instead of tomorrow. Yet, God still loves me. I will thank Him for another opportunity. I with thank Him for you all. I will go smile in Oopsland.

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    • Yes, Oopsland welcomes you and your smiles! Everything always works out in the end and we all make mistakes, big and small. But it usually ends up OK. Praise God! Safe travels.

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    • Thanks Amanda! Appreciate you stopping by and participating in Oopsland :)

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  4. Refreshingly real and relate-able; that’s what this post is! Why do we speak to ourselves like this?? I blogged on this topic earlier this year, and it was a real eye opener for me. I loved this reminder to cut people, and especially ME, a break from time to time.

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    • Thanks Sandi – I’ll have to pop over and visit your blog :)

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  5. Oh, WOW! I like it! It’s like taking what we say about gossip “words should encourage” and using it on ourselves! Encourage “self”. Never thought of that!

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    • I agree Vivian – it’s a great method to use on ourselves!

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  6. Third attempt at comment! Enjoyed reading about the “inside chatter” and changing it to be “self” encouragement.

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    • Thanks Vivian for letting me know it was hard to comment – and thanks for pushing through! :)

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  7. Awesome to see the work that God is doing here in your life. May He continually remind you that He knows you full well, “warts and all” and sees you as perfect, holy, blameless, and fully pleasing. Thanks for the reminder that we all need to extend a little grace to our sweet selves! =) ~Steph

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  8. Wow. I have never considered writing down what I say to myself. I think that’s brilliant as we tend to be much too hard on ourselves. I have been reminding myself that I am the daughter of The King and that I get to approach the throne with confidence because of Christ’s sacrifice. I am so thankful for God’s mercy and need to learn to extend some to myself and others. Thank you for the reminder. You sound like a lot of fun by the way.

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    • Thanks Elissa! I do bring drama to life….some people call that fun 😉 Love what you are learning about being a daughter of the King. Amen! Walk with your head held high, just as you should. That’s how I remind myself to “own” the daughter of the King analogy.

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