Imagine with me that we are in a desert. It is so very hot. We have been trudging along, again and again. Never ending sand. I’m tired, thirsty and exhausted. Feeling very lost and alone.
This is me….in what I have termed “My desert of bad decisions”
Recently I was feeling very overwhelmed by several things. Feeling like there was no way out. I had made these decisions; therefore I had to suffer the consequences. Only the consequences had been going on for years. How long did I need to beat myself up? I was well entrenched in my desert of bad decisions on this particular night.
God sent me to Exodus 14:14
The normal Christian would praise God and say thank you for the word of encouragement. My response was very different.
“Seriously? What do I look like, an idiot? Of course you will fight for them…they are your CHOSEN people. You went to a lot of effort to get them out of Egypt. Therefore you will get them out of this too. You are not going to look very good if you get them out of Egypt but allow them to die in the desert. You wouldn’t do that for me. You never have. You left me there, and now you are going to leave me here.”
My “there” was my childhood. I betrayed my true heart in that sentence. I feel like he didn’t come for me then and he wouldn’t come for me now.
God was gracious with my temper tantrum and gently told me to read the previous verses.
Exodus 14: 10-12
Sound familiar? Sound like the temper tantrum I was also throwing with God?
Their hopelessness resonated with me. Fully.
Yesterday they were headed to the Promised Land full of freedom, and now they are staring at the entire Egyptian army coming to beat them down.
Defenseless. Alone. Abandoned.
We know God saves them from the army. But imagine being right there, in that moment. Do you think they were questioning if they had made the right decision in following Moses? What if Moses really wasn’t from God?
Would God have left them there? Is he going to leave me here in my desert of bad decisions?
If they were in their current state because of their own bad decision…….does that mean you would have left them in their desert of bad decisions?
He ever so gently whispered to my tentative, child heart……
”No. Never. Never ever” “I will never abandon a heart that is fully seeking me. I can’t. I don’t know how. It’s not in my character, it’s not who I am.” “I have to fight for you. It’s in my blood”.
”No. Never. Never ever”
“I will never abandon a heart that is fully seeking me. I can’t. I don’t know how. It’s not in my character, it’s not who I am.”
“I have to fight for you. It’s in my blood”.
Are you in your own desert of bad decisions? Feeling lost and alone. Are you feeling beaten down by your own Egyptian army?
God will NOT leave you there.
He will fight for you.
He has to.
It’s who he is.
It’s in his blood.
So the Proverbs 31 YES TO GOD online bible study has hit home in a very dramatic way with me. One of the verses this week is Psalm 81:10
The Lord will rescue me from my desert of bad decisions. I am saying “yes” to letting him do that. I am saying yes to living the great life he has planned for me. I love that at the end of this verse it talks about opening my mouth wide and he will fill it with good things. I am saying YES, God please fill me with your words, your wisdom and your wonder!